Getting Peeled. My 3-day Juice Cleanse.

11 South LaSalle Street, Chicago, IL 60603, USA

At the start of 2013, I wanted to set a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish but focus on the action that leads to the goal rather than the goal itself. 

One goal was to become healthier. There are quite a few action items that will get me healthier that are more cardio and race related (hint: ½ marathon) but there was also one on there that seemed interested: Juice Cleanse. 

It sounds fun and challenging and it’s supposed to do things like “scape your colon” or “flush out your system” and “cleanse your palette”… oooh, exciting, huh? 

Then I saw a Groupon for a 3 Day, EXCITING and TASTY Cleanse from this cool looking, hippy spot called Peeled. You can check out the Peeled 3 Day Juice Cleanse for yourself. 

Why not? New Year, new things to spice life up. I jumped on it and bought myself and Julie the cleanse. The experience was so fun, I thought I’d write about it. Your welcome. 

7:30 AM. Green Lantern – (Romaine, Spinach, Cucumber, Parsley, Celery, Lemon, Ginger and Green Apples)

Here it was, the first sip of the juice cleanse. I wanted to consume it in the car on the way to work but thought the juice might spill on my shirt so I decided to wait until I went to work. The excitement was building up inside, this was going to be much better than the previous cleanse. Then I took the sip and it tasted like grass. After the first sip I realized that this cleanse was not going to be as exciting as I had thought. I pictured a bunch of Jamba Juice shakes bubbling over with tangy and sweet crushed berries flowing into my mouth, while the happiest song is remixed by an animated hippo and I was spinning wide circles laughing at the sky in pure joy. 

This turned out to be very much like getting face planted into the ground. After a little bit, it started tasting better and going down smoothly – maybe it was just the disappointment I was tasting at first. 

10 AM: Haute Lemonade – (water, lemons, cayenne, raw agave, organic maple syrup, sea salt)  

All I can say is that this is by far the best juice on the cleanse. Once I sipped into it I pictured a slow motion pillow fight from a better than best friend that I haven’t seen in two lifetimes… we were obviously this song was playing the background. 

12 PM: Maroon Five –  (beets, carrots, apples, lemons, ginger) 

I was looking forward to this one all day! The bright red one! The beacon of hope! Then I took a gulp and immediately wanted to throw it back up over the two gentlemen I was having lunch with. 


It honestly was the most disgusting thing I’ve eaten in my life. I pushed through it but it took me much longer than it was supposed to. It set me back a few hours but I pushed through it. 

4:30 PM: Green Lantern –

again. Ugh. It was much better than the Dragon piss that I drank before but still was not in a bit refreshing. This cleanse is killing me. It gets a little better toward the end but it’s still not good. 

6:30 PM: Maroon Five – 

I actually only took four juice boxes to work so I didn’t remember the line up. When I opened the fridge I was shocked to discover my old enemy of 12 PM, the Maroon Five. The only way I could actually stand this stuff was to suck it down quickly with a straw while holding my nose.


It was a tough thing to do but it was more enjoyable than drinking it normally. The only disgusting thing was when I was finished and had to un-pinch my nose and get socked in the face with the after taste of beats, dirt and shit that slammed my taste buds like an out of control truck. 


8:30 PM – Cashew Milk 

I don’t know if my expectations were just so low after my second bout with the Devil’s Blood drink but this was good stuff. It coated my throat (which was a little raw from some of the spices) and was a pleasant drink. It was a great way to end the night and after I was right about to quit the cleanse, I was renewed with a sense of hope that I could do this another two days. 

In the end, the cleanse was a big pain in the ass. One thing I’ve noticed afterward is how sharp and on the ball I’ve been at work and at home. It was quite unexpected because I thought it would be mostly make me feel better physically but it also made me feel better mentally. This is probably the best part of the cleanse. I love to feel good physically (ended up losing 4 lbs) but the mental clarity that came along with just changing your diet is really incredible. 


Maybe you are what you eat after all. 

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